Recent studies have suggested that when taken in small amounts for example, a glass of wine with dinner or an occasional shot of whiskey alcohol may be physically and psychologically beneficial for some older people. Delayed GriefWhile a slight delay in grieving is normal, an absence of grieving for weeks and months is unusual. All too often people who delay grieving are praised by others (”She’s so strong that she didn’t even cry at the funeral,” or “Isn’t he amazing to be able to carry on so well?”). By delaying grief, you may be denying the fact that your loved one has died.Prolonged GriefSometimes people become “stuck” in the first or second stages of grieving and can’t seem to move forward toward resolution. You may feel excessive guilt about the person’s death, blaming yourself in some way, or you may turn your anger onto others, such as doctors or other family members. It’s not unusual for someone in this state to develop a major depression and experience a decline in physical health.Detachment And IsolationYou feel numb and cut off from the world, and insist that people leave you alone. You generally refuse to take part in any social activities, saying that you “have no feelings” and are better off this way. If friends and family take you at your word, they may stop calling. You may begin to feel angry and resentful at being left alone, and you can also start to feel suspicious of other people. Grief Following An Unnatural DeathIf you have lost someone to suicide, accidental death or homicide, you may experience some added symptoms. These may be normal or abnormal, depending on how intense they are and how long they last. If your loved one committed suicide, you may feel excessive guilt over failing to prevent the act. You may also feel angry at the person who killed himself and embarrassed about others finding out about the suicide.If the death was traumatic, you may notice that you are easily startled and upset, and you may experience intrusive thoughts and images of the person’s death, even if you didn’t witness it. If the death was the result of violence, you may feel victimized and extremely anxious about your own safety.Taking on the Person’s SymptomsYou may begin to believe that you are suffering from the same disease that killed your loved one. You may actually develop symptoms that the dead person suffered, even though nothing is actually wrong with you. If you think you or someone you know is experiencing an abnormal reaction to grief, seek help right away. Your family doctor may be able to help you manage some of the physical symptoms with the short-term use of medication , but abnormal grief usually requires working out your feelings through individual or group psychotherapy.
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